Lindy in the park, and what I couldn't take home.

I love, love, absolutely love Lindy in the Park. Outdoor swing dancing in Golden Gate Park. The music, the dancing, the excitement, people, the positive vibe. It easily ranks among the best experiences of my entire life. And it is every Sunday at noon.

Why do I like it so much? A hard question to answer, but perhaps it connects me to people in a way I find more accessible, more exciting, and more intimate than conversation. I don't really want to know how your day was. I'll ask you, to try and make conversation, but at heart I'm not a talker. Instead, I'm a do-er, and indeed a dancer. In swing dancing you are improvising, responding to the music and your feelings, and you are not doing it by yourself! There is someone there with you, responding to you and inviting you to respond to them, and every partner is different.

That brings me to one experience I had yesterday at LITP. I've had many more that were similar in recent memory, with different people, but I'll recall the one I remember from yesterday.

It's simple really. I met one woman, M., felt a really good connection with her, had an unusually fabulous time dancing, even chatted a bit during the dance, and four minutes later, the song was over.

What did I do? Well, nothing really. I had a chance to talk with her later, but I didn't terribly have anything to say, and somehow the prospect of chatting her up seemed artificial and contrived. So, I didn't. We smiled and parted our separate ways. I danced with a whole bunch of other people and eventually the dance was over and I left in a really, really, really good mood.

My question doesn't undo my good mood, now or then. But still, I have to wonder if I missed an opportunity. I was definitely attracted to her, and she was at least maybe attracted to me. We had a good vibe anyway. I wanted to explore the connection further, but there seemed nothing to do. We'd danced, and already hit the high point, and by the time we ran into each other again the music was over. I could have said something, made some small talk. But it felt at the time that it would have been a little bit contrived. I wanted to connect, but there was not anything particular I wanted to say or do.

Two years ago I was determined to not let any chances slip away, and I made awkward small talk and strained to get dates in situations like this. Since then I've gotten a little bit burned, and have decided to "be myself" more in situations like this. Which typically means waiting, observing, and often doing nothing.

Is it the right decision? I'm unsure, because I didn't leave with her phone number. I don't have her name, so I can't look her up on Facebook. Probably I won't see her again.

But I had a fabulous time, and I left in a really, really, really good mood.