Why are all the black kids sitting together in the cafeteria?

Such is the title of a book by Beverly Daniel Tatum. I've been long meaning to read a book on race (I've read the Autobiography of Malcolm X, but nothing else comes to mind), and this is a good one.

I'm not going to summarize the book -- instead, I want to talk about what I found powerful, compelling, and surprising, what I found frustrating, and what I disagreed with.

I don't feel white. I'm just normal. Such is my attitude, or my untrained attitude anyway. Why is it so important to Black people that they are Black? Her explanation was brilliant, and I found it completely compelling.

I can illustrate with a trivial example from my own life. Being an academic, I have to move a lot, and people often try to emphasize with what I must be feeling. For example, people assume I care a lot about the weather, but in fact other things are much more important to me. And when people assume that weather is high on my list of priorities, this annoys me. I want to talk to someone who understands my perspective, and who feels the same way.

Now if I can be annoyed by something so inconsequential, to the extent that it feels like a small part of my identity, the book compelled me to imagine that I was treated with more suspicion everywhere I went. Not a lot more, perhaps, or always, but noticeably more, and often. Imagine that I was asked to show my ID when white people were not. That security guards followed me, that people presumed I was going to steal from them, cheat them, rob them. This wouldn't have to happen every time. Even once a week would really grate on me, to the extent that it became part of who I am.

That said, I'm not sure I fit the standard white model. In some respects my privilege has been kind of low: I was a socially awkward kid, and often made people uncomfortable just by my presence. In some respects my privilege has been stratospherically high. For example, my parents pulled all sorts of strings to get me into advanced math classes as a kid. Even more recently, during my time in the Wisconsin math department, I noticed I quickly rose to a spot of privilege. I wasn't totally sure why, but people seemed always willing to give me the benefit of the doubt.

But then again, I read "Stuff White People Like"... and... yup. That's me.

Affirmative action. Tatum cited all sorts of studies which prove - prove (rigorous methodology was used) that people judge white and black job candidates with implicit bias. Black people are judged less qualified, especially on the high end.

I think that most affirmative action just consists of looking extra hard for minorities and trying to encourage them to apply. But even if we explicitly "bumped up" Black candidates, so to speak, perhaps we are doing nothing more than counteracting our implicit biases. Certainly these stories single-handedly debunk all of the facile arguments against affirmative action. (I don't think that they imply AA is always a good thing though, and the author agrees.)

Racism = prejudice + institutional power. Tatum defines (I've seen this elsewhere) that racism is not just race-based prejudice. It must be backed up by institutional power. Ergo, she claims without an argument, blacks can't be racist towards whites, and women can't be sexist towards men.

Wait. The racism claim I almost completely buy. But I'm not sure I buy the sexism claim. I am going to describe something that I perceive to be real, and that I claim is sexism by Tatum's definition.

Basically, it seems to be acceptable to believe and joke that men are cavemen and dolts, and that women are the more reasonable sex, the torchbearers of good manners and civilization, the ones really running the show. This is ubiquitous throughout pop culture. Look at Homer Simpson, for example. Or "My Big Fat Greek Wedding", when the matriarch claims that "The man of the family may be the head, but the woman is the neck." Basically, it seems acceptable to joke that men are idiots, that women are always right, and that men should always come around and listen to what women tell them. To tell the joke the other way sounds insulting.

Now I don't think this is nearly a big of a deal as the sexism going from men to women (gender bias in hiring... etc... I think most people who have read this far know the evidence better than I do anyway, so I won't go into it). It exists for natural reasons, might be a natural result of men-to-women-sexism, and I'm not even claiming it's wrong. But it is sort of ingrained in our culture, and so is prevalent enough to be institutional. I claim it's sexism. (Any rebuttals?)

How to be good? One natural thing I wonder when I read this book is, how can I be good? How can I contribute in some small part to undermining racism and sexism?

This turns out to be damn hard. I have learned from personal experience that women can get very upset with me, in a big hurry, in circumstances where I bring up issues regarding sexism in what I feel is a respectful manner. And the book provides similar examples. For example, Tatum refers to Black people as "Black" throughout, but she quoted one Black woman as being upset when White people called her "Black", because she felt that it carried with it preconceived notions and prejudice.

If not "Black", what then? "African-American"? "People of Color"? "Negro"? It seems like any of these could cause offense. If I merely try to talk about racial issues, people will get upset.

Now it is not my business to tell people they shouldn't be upset. Whether people "should" be upset is a meaningless question. People simply do get upset. But that said, what should I do?

I find it difficult to identify emotionally with a cause if I cannot talk about it without upsetting its supporters. And I think Tatum's example illustrates that these discussions really can be a minefield. I should simply not expect that I will be able to never upset anybody.

Tatum suggests that White people form groups to talk with other white people about race, that they seek and they read a lot about White contributions to antiracist causes, and that they self-consciously identify as White, that they "own their Whiteness". I'm not quite sure I agree, but much about her suggestions does ring true. That said, is such a severe effort needed in order to be good?

All for now. And I'm not even half done with the book!